#on aromance

[pinnakoladda]

hey as a local aroace, i want to specify something.

we're no strangers to love. you know the rules and so do i (do i). a full commitments what im thinking of. you wouldnt get this from any other guy. i just wanna tell you how im feeling. gotta make you understand. never gonna give you up. never gonna let you down. never gonna run around and desert you. never gonna make you cry. never gonna say goodbye. never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

[daybringersol]

fun fact (not fun at all fact actually) :

aromanticism and asexuality are still treated as issues to be fixed in most therapy settings, at least in the western psychiatric institution. i cannot fucking mention my aromanticism or asexuality to a therapist or it’ll immediately become their primary concern and goal to fix. whether or not i have a partner/am trying to have a partner is actively being used as an indicator of my wellness, regardless of if i WANT one. i cannot have access to needed mental health ressources because of fear of conversion therapy. aro and/or ace conversion therapy is the norm in most psychiatric institutions and we are getting told by the rest of the queer community that our oppression isnt real and that there is no link between our struggles and theirs.

more thoughts on the medicalization of asexuality and/or aromanticism

answers to common notes

aplatonic perspective

ressources

background information

tips to avoid aro and/or ace conversion therapy

[callmemossbrain]

brushing your hair, aroace style. holding your hand, aroace style. leaning on you, aroace style. laughing with you, aroace style. cuddling while going to sleep, aroace style. braiding your hair, aroace style. dinner together, aroace style. long hugs, aroace style. inside jokes, aroace style. "babe, love, dear," aroace style. making fun of things together, aroace style. giggling at three am, aroace style. driving to see you, or you see me, aroace style. meeting each other's friends, aroace style. meeting important people in your life, aroace style. dropping off a coffee while at work, aroace style. opening the car door for you, aroace style. comforting hand on knees, shoulders, head, back, aroace style. sleepy drives, aroace style. "I have ibuprofen," aroace style. "don't forget your meds," aroace style.

platonic swag, if you will.

[bynux]

Trying to figure something out about myself; please reblog this for a larger sample size.

[arom-antix]

Hello, I am back from the dead to bring you this extremely important image. Mans is not okay

Inspiration:

[d3ad-squid]

Every single fucking time… can’t you allos just be happy with what you’ve got????

[schrodingers-intelligence]

Someone low key aphobic: Romantic and sexual attraction is what makes us human!

The A-Spec community, holding up a penguin: BEHOLD A HUMAN

[aroacearchangel]

aro and/or ace culture is wondering “is that actually a thing alloromantics and/or allosexuals experience? or is it just the Media™ pushing unrealistic narratives for everyone involved?”

[scales-n-art]

Quick PSA, because there seems to be some severe lack of education regarding Asexuality among a certain bunch of opinionated people, who frankly have no place having such strong opinions about something they've demonstrated to be so ignorant about:

Asexuality =/= a lack of libido, sexual appetite, sexual drive, or sexual activity.

Asexuality does = little to no experience of sexual attraction.

There are many forms of attraction. For example, some of them may be: romantic attraction that you'd experience towards a romantic partner. Aesthetic attraction that you may experience when you see someone's fashion style or overall appearance. Platonic attraction that you may experience towards a close friend. Etc.

Asexuality IS a spectrum, we call it the Asexuality Umbrella; SOME people under the ace umbrella may experience no interest towards sex/intimacy whatsoever, some may experience disgust re anything sex/intimacy related, some may be indifferent or neutral about it, and some are positive or even enthusiastic about it. These things may include acts such as kissing and physical touch of the non sexual kind. ALL of these people are still asexual, and their sexual activity or lack thereof has nothing to do with it.

Asexual people may choose to engage or not in sexual activity, and the circumstances under which they choose to do so, and the reasons why, are very varied: physical pleasure, closeness to a partner, emotional connection, finding pleasure in pleasing a partner, etc, etc.

The ways in which an asexual person may choose to find their pleasure is also very varied. And yes, it may be through fiction, because it can be a safe way to do so without being expected to behave or perform in a certain way that may be uncomfortable for the individual. Nothing wrong with enjoying a good smutty book or fanfic, or comic. Harms no one involved. Enjoying this doesn't mean you're not asexual.

Asexuality does exist, and it's way more nuanced and varied than just equalling it to "not getting any."

Now read all that again, but switch Asexuality for Aromanticism. Also a spectrum, also varied, also incredibly nuanced.

So, yes. A fictional character CAN be asexual, AND also engage in sexy times with the chosen ship partner. A Queer Platonic Relationship is also a very valid option, because NEWSFLASH, sex is not the only valid bonding point of a relationship. It can be a strong, important one depending on each individual, but it's not the only way to connect with a partner.

And, NO. Asexual people are NOT "repressed." Asexual people do NOT need anyone to "change their minds". Asexuality is NOT a problem, a symptom, or a sign of trauma.

Some sources to know more about the topic:

AVEN - Asexuality Visibility and Education Network

The Invisible Orientation - by Julie Sondra Decker

The ABCs of LGBT - by Ash Hardell

ACE: What Asexuality reveals about Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex - by Angela Chen

There are many more sources out there, support groups and communities on social media that you can find mainly through AVEN, or with just a simple search about Asexuality on any search bar nowadays.

There's too much info about it now compared to some years ago to remain so ignorant about it.

Do. Better.

[hum-tittle]

Am I aroace: Yes

Am I a lesbian: Also yes

Are all my fictional crushes nonhuman men???: For some reason also, yes??

Do I need help: Probably?

[your-local-crypt1d]

Oh so when a priest takes an oath of celibacy he's "a man of faith", but when I say I'm Ace and sex-repulsed I'll "change my mind" and "haven't found the right person yet" 🙄

[canonically47]

actually all the disney princesses who don’t have a romantic interest are aromantic. yeah yep all of them. elsa, merida, mirabel, so forth, all of them are aromantic. you cannot escape the aro beam

[daybringersol]

gotta be honest, i hate the whole oppression contest between romance-favorable and romance-averse aromantics that’s going on right now. both of those groups are pressured to act like the other. you know why? because people just don’t like us being aromantic. that’s it. nobody’s more privileged than the other, at least not in this context.

if you’re alright with being in relationships, then you’re told you’re not really aromantic. the goal is to make you doubt you’re aromantic.

if you don’t want to be in relationships, then you’re told that aromantics can date, so you should! the goal is to make you more palatable, to make you romance-favorable so then, they can gaslight you into thinking you’re not actually aromantic. or they just straight up call you heartless (shoutout heartless aros, love you guys <2) and/or inhuman, but thats just their true colors showing. they think that of all aros.

and the aromantic people who says shit like that? they’re trying to throw the group they’re not part of under the bus to make themselves either more palatable or less ‘confusing’. they’re scared.

nobody’s winning here. let’s all just shut the fuck up for a second and recognize that these people just don’t want us to be aromantic. that’s it. doesn’t matter if you’re romance-averse, romance-favorable or anything else. they just want us to conform. and if you’re accusing the other side of being responsible for your oppression, you’re playing right into their game.

[evil-maryland]

Arophobes are so fucking stupid

"You just haven't found the right person!" "You're still young!"

Ok. I perhaps have found 'the right person'. now what?

I'm still under the Aromanticism Label. That didn't just change now that i have a 'right person'.

Maybe I needed an emotional bond first. Maybe I just don't like romance. Maybe I only like romance a limited amount.

Just because we don't fit into your conception of love on first sight doesn't mean we don't exist.

Happy Aromantism.

[ohara-n-brown]

I know 'no homo' is an extremely outdated and unnecessary term but can we please keep 'no romo'

Like just for the aros.

Please. Please I want to keep saying no romo cause it's really funny to me. Like bro kiss me. No romo though. Let's go on a date no romo

will you accept my hand in marriage no romo

they lived together 40 years but absolutely no romo

[ijustreallylikepirates]

worst things to hear as an aro/ace/aroace person:

"you'll get over it"

"true love will find you some day"

"but what if somebody asks you out and they're really cute?"

"you'll change your mind"

"love/sex is a part of life, you need it"

"I bet I can change that"

"but what if you want kids someday/decide you want to get married?"

"you're too attractive to be aro/ace/aroace"

"men need women around the house" or "women need men around the house"

"but you've had crushes/been in relationships before?"